Junior doctors in England have confirmed they will extend strike action until their wages are high enough to afford the parking charges at the hospitals where they are expected to save lives for £14 an hour.
In what ministers are calling “unrealistic demands,” doctors are requesting a salary that allows them to access their workplace without maxing out a credit card or abandoning their cars in nearby lay-bys.
A government official, speaking from the backseat of a chauffeured BMW, said: “We appreciate the sacrifices junior doctors make. But asking for free parking is a slippery slope. Next they’ll be asking for lunch breaks.”
Executives insist the parking revenue is essential for providing hospital directors with stress-reducing perks like noise-cancelling headphones and personalised fleece blankets.
The strike is expected to continue until either pay is restored to pre-austerity levels or the NHS collapses—whichever comes first.
In unrelated news, MPs recently voted themselves a £3,000 pay rise to “cope with inflation.” Their parking remains complimentary.
